I found this quote tonight...and I TOTALLY feel this way lately.
"Stress is the trash of the modern day - we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life."
I'm having a hard time balancing this "mom with a career" thing. How on earth do people do it all, and still maintain somewhat of a clean home, groceries in the fridge, meals, errands, laundry(showering...although I'm not as worried about that one), AND giving as much as you can to your clients, child, and husband?
Not to mention...bills, work, ANY type of personal endeavors or something for leisure/pleasure.
When I'm successful with one or two of these, I am failing miserably in other areas. Tonight I finally came to grips with that fact that no, in fact, someone did not break into my home and take everything out of all cupboards, cabinets, and closets and throw everything everywhere and leave...that, in fact, my house is THAT bad.
It's mostly just accumulated piles that I KNOW if I just spent 20 minutes organizing and putting things away/finding a place for them, it really would not be as bad as my dramatic description implies. But still..something I dread, and a daunting task.
I am exhausted, behind, and overwhelmed. And yet, I've spent a couple of long, FULL, glorious, and super fun days with my sweet little 7 month old son. My son that will only be little once, that will only be in this stage that he's in RIGHT NOW, and then on to the next.
However, now I am behind. Which means...late nights, tired days, and too many things on the back burner. So where is the balance?
This time with Kroy makes everything else seems so unimportant. But then, reality sets in, that in fact...I do have other obligations, and they are important.
I think...MAYBE...that all people struggle with this. It is the age old battle of balance. The "secret of life"...right? The secret that we're all seeking but never finding.
I need to somehow re-commit to better planning, more organization, and allotting time for things in which those set aside moments...I give 100% of myself to that ONE thing.
I used to look at certain people and think "wow...they are supermom!" But now, I am finding that none of us are super moms, and all of us are...all at the same time. March on, my working mom friends! This crazy life will try to kick our ass all the way to Sunday if we don't show it who's boss once in awhile.
So now, I am going to bed...going to wake up with a grateful heart, a better attitude, embrace my long workday tomorrow doing something I love, not feel guilty about Kroy at the babysitters, schedule a chunk of an hour or so to do nothing but clean, and give myself a big pat on the back for NOT indulging in the Doritos I've been planning to eat for the last half hour.
Celebrate small victories, right? :-)
Goodnight, friends. Life is good.
(Look at my sweet little Bear! I mean, who wouldn't want to nothing else all day but hang out with this guy?!)
Oh man, I have so much to say about this. Mostly: yes, everyone is dealing with it, and wondering how everyone else is doing so fine...which of course means no one is actually doing fine. It's not just moms, but you know that.
ReplyDeleteI just read a blog post the other day about creating margins - which, as a constant academic and office worker, totally made sense to me (I live more in Microsoft Word than the real world sometimes). Here's the link http://jenlee.net/journal/recognizing-when-youre-at-your-threshold. The idea is, you have to set boundaries so that you don't get to the point that it feels like life is going to blow up at any moment - it's about creating wiggle room from the beginning so it's not as easy to get into emergency mode.
This, of course, is close to my heart because it's what drove me to start therapy last year.
And if you haven't already watched this (you can listen to it while you clean/organize!), do it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0
There's a section about what society has made women think is expected of them (be everything and still be fabulous and unstressed). It seriously gave me chills the first time I saw it.
That's all. I love you, friend. Keep fighting the good fight (and not the bad ones)!